--part1_1c3.2894ef64.2fb629c1_boundary
Brian, thanks for the tip about how to kill off bamboo bugs: go to a Green
Bay Packer game in the winter. Ya, that would do it alright. As an owner of
the Packers (along with 100,000 others), I might bring this idea to the Board
as a way to get a little extra publicity: Enjoy a great game and eliminate
your bad bugs all at the same time.
Regarding etiquette on the shakuhachi listserve, I'm in favor of Bruce's
generous offer to review and moderate the listserve contributions.
Since Herb asks for feedback. . . . .I don't agree with Herb's idea, that we
should ignore offensive comments and get on with it, especially when one
particular person keeps lobbing grenades for fun. It's not about being offended.
It's about having to wade through the negative vibes that are generated so
frequently by one immature person. Responding or not responding doesn't seem
to affect this person's behavior. This is an adult listserve and we should
act with a certain degree of mindfulness.
As a psychologist, I used to work with families in crisis and
especially with a kind of dysfunction associated with Adult Children of Alcoholics
(ACOA). I was often astounded to see how much unnecessary pain some people will
endure from out-of-control family members because they don't want to reject
or abandon that person. The motive for total inclusion may include elements
of real compassion, but allowing an out-of-control person to continuously
re-create an ambiance of negativity doesn't help anyone. In ACOA work we used the
phrase, "tough love", to indicate our unwillingness to tolerate the
alcoholics rages and continuous poisoning of the family pool. Herb suggests no
moderator and that we instead practice "heart of compassion, forgiveness and love."
What the ACOA community helped me understand is that sometimes our intention
of inclusive love can be twisted by certain family members to enable their
out of control behavior. Being an enabler doesn't helpe anyone in the family.
I suggest that we keep our requirement that members exercise good will and
self discipline, and if someone continually violates this requirement, they
should be asked to leave.
Thank you, Peter for a nice teaching about embouchure.
Peace,
Jonas
Robert A. Jonas, Ed.D., Director
The Empty Bell
83 Bancroft Road
Northampton, MA 01060
www.emptybell.org
(413) 527-5487
--part1_1c3.2894ef64.2fb629c1_boundary
<HTML><FONT FACE=3Darial,helvetica><HTML><FONT COLOR=3D"#000000" FACE=3D"Tim=
es" FAMILY=3D"SERIF" SIZE=3D"4">Brian, thanks for the tip about how to kill=20=
off bamboo bugs: go to a Green Bay Packer game in the winter. Ya, tha=
t would do it alright. As an owner of the Packers (along with 100,000=
others), I might bring this idea to the Board as a way to get a little extr=
a publicity: Enjoy a great game and eliminate your bad bugs all at the same=20=
time.<BR>
<BR>
Regarding etiquette on the shakuhachi listserve, I'm in favor of Bruce's gen=
erous offer to review and moderate the listserve contributions. <BR>
<BR>
Since Herb asks for feedback. . . . .I don't agree with Herb's idea, that we=
should ignore offensive comments and get on with it, especially when one pa=
rticular person keeps lobbing grenades for fun. It's not about being=20=
offended. It's about having to wade through the negative vibes that a=
re generated so frequently by one immature person. Responding or not=20=
responding doesn't seem to affect this person's behavior. This is an=20=
adult listserve and we should act with a certain degree of mindfulness. =
; <BR>
As a psychologist, I used to work with families in=20=
crisis and especially with a kind of dysfunction associated with Adul=
t Children of Alcoholics (ACOA). I was often astounded to see how muc=
h unnecessary pain som</FONT><FONT COLOR=3D"#000000" FACE=3D"Times" FAMILY=
=3D"SERIF" SIZE=3D"4">e people will endure from out-of-control family member=
s because they don't want to reject or abandon that person. The motiv=
e for total inclusion may include elements of real compassion, but allowing=20=
an out-of-control person to continuously re-create an ambiance of negativity=
doesn't help anyone. In ACOA work we used the phrase, "tough love",=20=
to indicate our unwillingness to tolerate the alcoholics rages and continuou=
s poisoning of the family pool. Herb suggests no moderator and that w=
e instead practice "heart of compassion, forgiveness and love." What=20=
the ACOA community helped me understand is that sometimes our intention of i=
nclusive love can be twisted by certain family members to enable their out o=
f control behavior. Being an enabler doesn't helpe anyone in the family.&nb=
sp; I suggest that we keep our requirement that members exercise good will=20=
and self discipline, and if someone continually violates this requirement, t=
hey should be asked to leave.<BR>
<BR>
Thank you, Peter for a nice teaching about embouchure.<BR>
<BR>
Peace,<BR>
Jonas<BR>
<BR>
<BR>
Robert A. Jonas, Ed.D., Director<BR>
The Empty Bell</FONT><FONT COLOR=3D"#000000" FACE=3D"Times" FAMILY=3D"SERIF"=
SIZE=3D"4"><BR>
83 Bancroft Road<BR>
Northampton, MA 01060<BR>
www.emptybell.org<BR>
(413) 527-5487</FONT><FONT COLOR=3D"#000000" FACE=3D"Geneva" FAMILY=3D"SANSS=
ERIF" SIZE=3D"2"><BR>
</FONT><FONT COLOR=3D"#000000" FACE=3D"Times" FAMILY=3D"SERIF" SIZE=3D"4"></=
FONT></HTML>
--part1_1c3.2894ef64.2fb629c1_boundary--
_____________________________________________
List un/subscription information is at:
http://communication.ucsd.edu/shaku/listsub.html
This archive was generated by hypermail 2b29 : Fri Jan 06 2006 - 10:00:45 PST