yesterday was second day of business as usual (ha!)
need for folks to spread entry because of metal detectors
...well, not bad at all when i arrived tuesday about 7:45
slight backup but really no time lost yesterday...8:15
attended a "..." forget what they called it..trauma relief
session...hundreds of folks in the place intimately connected
with the Event...only 4 of us showed. 3 long-timers and
me... only one guy had been "across the river"...spoke of
the SOUNDsound..... his haunting thought was of the ash,
and thought of it containing human beings who had been
"incinerated". pro guy that was there lead him from that...
did reality principle thing...but it bothered me a bit
that the man's truth was denied...not a forest of human
ash...incinerated humans....not an exaggerated view of
it, trauma expanded into super-reality. but yes. still
a bit of truth to it. bear witness to the truth of it
without...very possible a small, perhaps infinitesimal
part...got there early enuff to be the first. guy
leading it had PhD from yeshiva u...so may in part his
handling of the matter was a bit of his own stuff.
i do recall someone in the room telling of how the
first time folks in central poland had a sense something
real bad (evil?) was happening was there started to
appear ash falling in town...and we know the horrorible
truth of what was goin....OM sivaya...
SHAKUHACHI:::very hard for me to practice. a blessing
that i have a place to work (still there!) and ok to
go down to parking garage each day at lunchtime and do
my practice. yesterday was honkyoku...ended with
mixing AmazingGrace and WShallOvercome...or was that
the day before? yesterday i worked my regular lesson
...then just started to blow. wild and with mostly
abandone...haven't blown so hard in the garage since
the day i got the news my mother's certain and
imminent...yesterday didn't have the tears and feelings
...the emotional rawness...but the same reflection,
the same storm...maybe before i was blowing for one,
this time the many. no no ...not blowing FOR them
...WITH them...at one point i stopped and my hands
were shaking....even doing that now as i write these
words.....ma...more ma......ah, that's better...not
too little, not too much...peas porrige hot. peas
porrage cold. peas porrife in the pot. nine days old...
hmmm, that's an old one. hope you all don't mind
my exposing myself like that. hmmm, actually i
don't care. sometimes i say or do thigs in
relation to other folks...not cool. myself...
hey, ...stil crazy after all these years...
gotta run. 7:58 to brooklyn. long island railroad
...first time arriving just at 9am with metal
detectors part of entry ...a tree grows in brooklyn
...
, bill
ps. i ended the wildness with kyorei..."good car
to drive after a war"...Peace , billAgain
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