Bill,
Besides regular exercises, I found "hitting" massage to be quite helpful.
https://universal-tao.securenow.com/cgi-bin/ut/scan/fi=products/st=db/co=yes/sf=category/se=Equipment/va=link_image%3d/va=link_banner%3d.html?id=GkjbAkhy
If link gets cut, you can go to to
http://www.universal-tao.com/ -> Online Shop -> Equipment
This works fine on forearms and shoulders. Mantak Chia has a book on that.
As for hand, I am a dentist, and experience a lot of tension in my hand during the day. As a part of my martial art training, I've been doing Iron Palm exercises. I found it to be quite helpful in making my hands relaxed, especially in combination with the balm called Dit Da Jow (you can get it in may Chinese herb online stores). That is basically, slapping the bag (I use the bag of rice) with relaxed palm.
Eugene
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