NOTE: This is a public reaponse to a private email (no names below,
they're not germane). I post it here, rather than simply sending it
to my private correspondent, because I think it addresses larger
issues about how discussion takes place on the list (and on email
lists and email in general).
I got my first email account in 1984 (an auspicious time to join
the "Global Village"). I had the good fortune of having a "teacher"
who had been using email since the 70s, who pointed out an important
aspect of the medium to me: to whit, email often comes across as
being far more personal and critical than is usually intended. The
complete lack of other communicative cues (physical context, quality
and tone of voice, facial expression, etc.) mean that it is easier
than normal to read more into a sentence than intended.
This footnote at the end of my last message is a case in point:
[2] Personally I don't know how to separate the spirituality
of things from their physical incarnations. I don't believe in
ghosts and have no particular use for Organized Religion of any
sort.<snip>
On reflection I can see how this can be read as a criticism of
organized religions in particular and religion in general. This
was not my intent. I was speaking for myself, and only myself.
*I* don't find a need or use for religion, particularly those who
are "organized" (read, have buildings and social, political, or
economic structures). That is not to say, or even imply, that I
have any negative feelings about the purposes those activities and
organizations might serve in the lives of others (to the extent
that such organizations are not used to abuse their adherents (cf.
Jim Jones and Guiana).
If we are going to survive, as a list and as a world, we are going
to have to learn not to take everything said in a public space as a
personal criticism. Even when it looks like it was intended, we are
going to have to learn to follow the golden rule of judgement:
"Never take as malice what can adequately be
explained by stupidity"
The second time someone reiterates the same point, in the same fashion
and lanugage, then and only then should we begin to suspect that
they are criticizing us personally.
Yours for a little more forgiveness,
bj
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This archive was generated by hypermail 2b29 : Tue Jan 06 2004 - 14:09:35 PST